i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
