so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
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i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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