This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
