Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize