I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
