I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
