That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
