I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
