You work out of a Hotel?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
