He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
