Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How does one acquire holy water?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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