Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
