i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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