he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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