you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
