these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
