Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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