if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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