I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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