you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
