have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
