You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
