"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
