This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
