just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
