This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
