She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
