my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
