somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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