Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
