Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize