fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
