I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
