Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My pussy is not your playground.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
