no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
