he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
