i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
