I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.