Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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