I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
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also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.