i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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