this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
