another moral hangover. fuck.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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