I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His nipple licking is glorious
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