my mouth tastes like poor choices
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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