I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
