We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
