My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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