I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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