If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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