Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
