So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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