I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
