I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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