none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
