Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The Olympian is in my bed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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