dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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