My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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