totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
