"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
