I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
