Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
