I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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