I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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