butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize