I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
