Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
