Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
