If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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