yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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