Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
